I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
