I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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