Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
