Sry I called you an 8
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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