I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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