i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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