her vagina looked like bernie madoff
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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