Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
