your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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