; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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