thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
