i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
