This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
