I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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