Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize