Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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