I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
