so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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