You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
