Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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