Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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