Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
