I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
