We won't sleep together?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
