We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize