R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
