What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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