your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
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I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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