I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
