it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The beer is more important than you right now.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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