I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
