fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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