We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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