Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think your dad took our porno
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
