:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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