first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
