Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
