I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize