i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Randomize
