32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
