he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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