Swine flu. Run for my life!
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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