I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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