this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He better not be in your backpack
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
