im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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