The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The beer is more important than you right now.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
