i already hear my dad disowning me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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