I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Blood and glitter go together right?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
