if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
