So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
