we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
