he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
