you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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