i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
