why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
