i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
