Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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